Start Close In

Today I am writing about feeling stuck, something we all have felt sometime in our lives! Quite often when we are on our journey to get the things we really want in our lives we become paralysed. We want that new job, but for some reason the idea of going out there and inquiring is terrifying, so we continue going to the same place everyday and hate ourselves for it. We want to lose weight to prevent heart disease but yet the very image of the gym gives us heart palpitations! So we hide under the covers with a bag of chips and loath ourselves even more for not doing anything. We create this cyclical tailspin of not really doing anything productive, and judging ourselves, and then being even more paralytic and unable to do anything.

We label ourselves as lazy because society teaches us to do that. But how about being gentle? How about loving yourself and asking what is keeping you in this state of fear? How about asking yourself what your body/soul really needs to gently start the journey in  a way that is manageable for you? So maybe you know you inevitably may end up at the gym in a month or two but right now you’re not ready. So what can you do today to get you moving? Go for a walk? Then tomorrow a longer one? Does that feel more manageable? Then maybe in a couple of weeks a little run? Then a youtube exercise video so no one can see you? Then soon you are ready to take on the gym and it doesn’t seem so bad…or not, who knows, but I’m guessing by this time you are feeling much better about yourself, and you are also being healthier. Same applies to anything else in your life, like finding a job. Maybe your one goal for today is just to look on the internet and see what’s out there, then another small goal is to make a phone call and you give yourself a week to do it. Instead of thinking really big right away, and putting pressure on yourself to make your movements and steps really grand, start small. Don’t skip steps -what’s your first step? Make your goals manageable and realistic so they actually work for you. Set yourself up for success.  Love yourself enough to do that. Don’t impose judgements, we have enough people in our lives to do that. Sometimes when we follow advice from others it makes us feel even worse because we know we can’t do what they have suggested. Then you have their judgements and your own judgements of yourself to deal with! Sometimes the answer is simple, and thing you need to do right in front of you – only YOU can figure it out.

I am posting a poem that I read in my last meditation circle – ‘Start Close In’  by David Whyte. It really moves me because it brings me back to that gentle space of self-love when I get overwhelmed or feel trapped by life’s circumstance. As you read it, try and reflect on your ‘next step’. What can you do today, or this week, to feel good about yourself and bring you into a place of movement?


Start close in,

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

Start with your own
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something

To find
another’s voice
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
to another.

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
close in,
the step you don’t want to take.

~ David Whyte ~

 (River Flow)



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